Sunday, December 20, 2009
Play With Your Dessert
There are a TON of festive sweet recipes , mostly cookies and pies , so this is a little off the beaten path . My sister used to love to steal the neighbours' grounder apples for crisp and here's my offshoot for your perusal . It's awesome a la mode for dessert , but also works as breakfast when mixed and served hot with or without a bit of cream . Either way , it's delish and a good way to clean fruit from the bowl since it works so well with a wide variety of larger fruits as well as berries .
Today's Yummy Fruit Crisp
Fruit Blend
6 cups assorted sliced fruit - today it is Gala Apples and Ripe Anjou and Ya Pears
1/4 cup Vanilla or Plain Sugar
1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp nutmeg
mix in a bowl and spead out into a casserole dish while you preheat the oven to 400F/200C
The Crunchy Stuff
1 cup Flour
1/2 cup Oats
1 Cup Brown (I'm using Demerrara) Sugar
1/2 cup Margarine
Mix all of the dry ingredients with your paws . Cut in margarine with a pastry blender or a couple of forks until it resembles gravel . You are not trying to make pastry , so perfection is not an issue . Spead over the fruit and bake for 35-50 minutes until bubbly and yummy looking . Do not even look at the oven for at least 25 minutes . I went for a shower since I have a tendency to babysit my food.
Let sit for a few and enjoy!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What I'm Eating Right Now
I'm not hungry but my blood sugar went southbound and I was starting to feel odd so this staple stir-fry saved my day . Yummy and good for you . Let's Eat!
Get a wok nice and hot with a touch of oil if you don't have non stick and add :
1/4 LB pressed (firm) Tofu (yes , I KNOW , it's scary . Trust ME.)
1 Tsp Maggi Liquid Seasoning (Worcestershire will work too in a pinch)
1 TBL Soy Sauce
1/ Cup Beer
Pepper
1 Tsp Ras El Hanout (or somthing like it)
1/2 Tsp Rosemary
Saute until the liquid evaporates and the tofu starts to get a bit of a sear on it . Then add (in order if you can)
1/2 TBL Margarine or Oil (optional)
3-5 Mushrooms , Sliced
1/2 Zucchini , sliced
2 Stalks Bok Choy , sliced\
A couple of handfuls fresh Spinach
3 Sliced Radishes
1 Scallion , sliced
1/2 Tsp Chili Paste
Enough wine to deglaze
And Tada ! Din din in 15 or less. High in iron , will fill belly . Serve on it's own or over rice . Serves 2 as a main.
Get a wok nice and hot with a touch of oil if you don't have non stick and add :
1/4 LB pressed (firm) Tofu (yes , I KNOW , it's scary . Trust ME.)
1 Tsp Maggi Liquid Seasoning (Worcestershire will work too in a pinch)
1 TBL Soy Sauce
1/ Cup Beer
Pepper
1 Tsp Ras El Hanout (or somthing like it)
1/2 Tsp Rosemary
Saute until the liquid evaporates and the tofu starts to get a bit of a sear on it . Then add (in order if you can)
1/2 TBL Margarine or Oil (optional)
3-5 Mushrooms , Sliced
1/2 Zucchini , sliced
2 Stalks Bok Choy , sliced\
A couple of handfuls fresh Spinach
3 Sliced Radishes
1 Scallion , sliced
1/2 Tsp Chili Paste
Enough wine to deglaze
And Tada ! Din din in 15 or less. High in iron , will fill belly . Serve on it's own or over rice . Serves 2 as a main.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Halvah Nagila
Sometimes the old stuff is the best , so here flies with an awesome old-school candy that you can do yourself so easily you might never go to halva.com again . There are thousands of versions of this sweet stuff that range from almost cloying to savoury , but this one is what most people are thinking of when they crave . This is not quite as sweet as commercially made halvah because there is no refined sugar , but you'll dig it. Makes a TON .
Yummo halvah for those who dont't have tahini handy
Get a pot and toast 6 cups (!) of sesame seeds until lightly brown and fire them slowly into a blender until reasonably smooth . Ta da! You have a reasonable approximation of tahini paste. Set aside
Grab the old spice grinder and pulse together roughly a teaspoon of allspice , half a cinnamon stick , and a one inch cube of ginger . Add to the brew with 1 1/2 cups of honey . If you don't do the bee vomit thing , use maple syrup and give it a bit of North American flavour .
Make sure the brew is mixed well and spread into a pan. I line mine with parchment paper for easy removal . Refrigerate until quite solid and munch out ; OR
Get out a double boiler (you can make your own by using a glass bowl over a few inches of water in a pot) and melt a bar (100g) of decent quality dark chocolate .Let sit for about a minute and drop squares of the chilly halvah into the chocolate and roll into chopped walnuts or pistachios . Allow to sit for 15 minutes and make your guests into housemates .
Addiction is ... chocolate nut halvah
Yummo halvah for those who dont't have tahini handy
Get a pot and toast 6 cups (!) of sesame seeds until lightly brown and fire them slowly into a blender until reasonably smooth . Ta da! You have a reasonable approximation of tahini paste. Set aside
Grab the old spice grinder and pulse together roughly a teaspoon of allspice , half a cinnamon stick , and a one inch cube of ginger . Add to the brew with 1 1/2 cups of honey . If you don't do the bee vomit thing , use maple syrup and give it a bit of North American flavour .
Make sure the brew is mixed well and spread into a pan. I line mine with parchment paper for easy removal . Refrigerate until quite solid and munch out ; OR
Get out a double boiler (you can make your own by using a glass bowl over a few inches of water in a pot) and melt a bar (100g) of decent quality dark chocolate .Let sit for about a minute and drop squares of the chilly halvah into the chocolate and roll into chopped walnuts or pistachios . Allow to sit for 15 minutes and make your guests into housemates .
Addiction is ... chocolate nut halvah
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Side Dishes From Heaven
I have been having a lot of personally crappy days , but I'm trying not to be a bitch about it and maybe even stop being so fucking serious at work before I fucking kill someone . Anywho , for those of you who don't know me well , I love to cook and it's my choking-the-fucking-life-out-of-Tardog prevention therapy .
Here's my menu for the evening . So easy a roofer can do it , okay maybe not Tim . Yes , this will provide many uses for the SlapChop or Magic Bullet your mother gave you and you can make this stuff while tending to your protein choice .
Baked Sweet Potato Squash to impress , um , someone
Find Sweet Potato Squash (or Acorn , or whatever) and wash it well . You don't have to peel the tips off of your fingers .
Cut off both ends (toss these)and cut the rest in half lengthwise without adding any extra protein to the board.
Remove seeds and cut into chunks . You can get artistic here and don't forget to get your oven happy at 210C (400ish Fahrenheit)
lightly crease a pan of somesort with oil, butter , or your sister's hair gel and set squash stuff in there . This may vary in size due to how hungry you are .
Try to peel a one inch cube of ginger and cloves of garlic . Put in spice grinder or beat with a fairly clean shingle hatchet and add to pan along with 1 tbsp brown sugar and some salt and pepper. Add 1/2inch of water for the steam action .
Toss the squash in the works and try not to get too much on the floor . Cover the pan with foil and pray for 20-30 minutes . After it is somewhat tender , reseason , oil and bake until yummy . You can also add brown sugar and/or nutmeg here or oilive oil and oregano , both are awesome!
Get On The Spuds while You wait
Peel a bunch of russet potatoes and then chop into decent sized cubes .
Boil in a large pot with a few inches of water as well as some salt and pepper . Yes , you have to season the water , it's just better that way Boil slightly unovered until near tender . while you are doing this , you can chop finely 1/3to1/2 an onion and saute until pretty as well as puree 2 cloves of garlic and set aside .
Boil spuds until quite tender but not soupy . This may take a few efforts to perfect before you try to impress that hottie or your mama .
Remove most of the water (you can save it as a cream soup base) and turn off the heat but keep pot on hot element (reduce to very low if you have a gas range or are using a camping stove) .
Add the oinions and garlic as well as 1/2tsp dried oregano , 2-4tables butter or margarine and 2-4 tables milk or sour cream . (I'm doing the vegan thing . you don't have to)
Mash until they are perfect .
So many people buy expensive and tastless side dishes filled with bad carbs (spuds are not ) and fat and they don't have to . Lipton's Sidekicks are crap and we all know it and these things take about the same amount of time out of your life , which is amazing since you need this good stuff in your life .
I'm serving this with maple-beer veggie sausage but both go well with corned brisket or anything . They are also good comfort (read stoner snack) food all by their lonesome .
Okay , I'm starving now.
Vegan Cholent and Biscuits ? YES Way!!!

I love food . Food is the blessing that united poor families in days gone by , everything scratch made , no Betty Crocker in sight . No matter how hard your work was , you could count on a belly full of nourishment as a reward for your toil . In our prepackaged world , the ability to create has been stifled everywhere , but no place has felt the sting of modernity quite like the kitchen . Those of you who were raised on Swanson's and McCain's offerings , have no fear - you can bring the sing back into your tastebuds and impress your family , and here's how .
The Main : Mad Cholent
Step 1 : Get out a big ass pot and get it hot
Add some fat - butter,margarine,olive oil , back sweat , use whatever you have
Get a rockin sizzle and add:
1/2 to a whole onion
3 scallions
6 cloves garlic
2 carrots
3-5 small chopped up spuds
Get the mess glossy and add a bucketful of water , and to this add
3 tbs pepper
1 tbs salt
1 tbs dried oregano
2 teas dried mustard
3 bay leaves
1 chili pod
2 teas smoked or hot paprika
1/2 cup marrowfat peas
1 cup cannelini beans
1/2 cup pinto beans
and garbanzos if you wish . Substitute if needed
Cook forever . At least 6 hours in a crockpot or stove will do . Lats for eons . Better the next day .
The Side : Holy Shit It's Granny's Biscuits
You can multiple this for the big fessers in your life.
First you can get some onions , chives , mushrooms goin in a skillet . They will be needed later.
Mix this shit with a fork and then your paws
2 cups or more flour
1 teas Hyssop (or some other green shit)
1 teas dried oregano
1 major teas baking powder
1 level tea salt
2 teas sugar
1 cup milk , buttermilk , soya stuff , whatever you got
Get er happy then mix in the sizzled stuff with your paws and turn out onto floured countertop . (cause I know NONE of you have a bread board)
Cut into whatever shapes you want . Rounds work , but sometimes I braid mine into micro-Challahs .
The important part - put in UberHot oven (450-500) on an UNGREASED sheet and bake for around 12 minutes or until you can't take it any longer.
OK , I gotta eat!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Secret Weapon : Ras El Hanout
Ras El Hanout basically means "head (as in the top) of the shop" for lack of a better term because it's basically all of the best spices one has on hand in one mix up . Everyone who doesn't have an old Moroccan souk handy mixes their own , and there can be a zillion different things in it , including some very intoxicating and illegal ingredients . Most of the blends are closely guarded secrets , but I'm nice enough to share mine . One can add this to meatballs , tagine (in all of it's forms) , couscous , or rub down a roast and you will experience something truly awesome . Even tofu or a veggie kebab will sing (probably "thank G-d I have flavour!) when given a dusting of this magnificent concoction. I periodically alter this , but this is generally the combination .
(Please" , for me , don't use it as a pork rub , no matter if you see it in an online recipe . It's an insult to those who use it daily. )
These quantities are approximate as I use the palm-and-eyeball method
Oh , and don't use all of this in one dish . It won't kill you but I don't want to be responsible if it does. You can infinitely multiply this
1 table Turmeric
1 table Celery Seed
1 table Ground Coriander
2 teas Standard Paprika
1-2 teas Hot (or Smoked) Paprika
1-2 teas Cumin (pre-ground or DIY)
1-2 teas ground Nutmeg
1-2 teas mustard powder
1-2 teas Ground Ginger
1 tea Black Peppercorns (grind if you like)
1 tea chili powder
1/2 to 1 tea Ground Cloves if you aren't going to grind your own
Get out your spice grinder and pulse
1 Star Anise
1 stick Cinnamon
2 Dried Small Red Chiles
1 tablespoon Pickling Spices
1-2 teas Hyssop (Hyssopus Officinalis , available at heath food stores because it cures everything . You could substitute Thyme if you are lazy)
At your discretion , grind a few Cloves and the seeds from a Cardamom and fire it in the brew . I have also been known to put Lemongrass powder , Garam Masala or Saffron into this. If you have Lavender growing around your crib , you can dry it and add it too .
Keeps for at least a month . Do NOT store this or any spice within 3 metres (10 feet) of your stove if you can help it . It turns them wimpy fast .
What Doesn't Kill You
When health is absent
Wisdom cannot reveal itself ,
Art cannot become manifest ,
Strength cannot be exerted ,
Wealth is useless and
Reason is powerless .
- Herophiles
I haven't really touched on a fundamental part of whom I am because I know that there will be a backlash from those who are stagnant in their world views , but I have been forced by my sense of responsibility to tell all of you how and why my life has been changed forever . I am alive today because 5 years ago I made the decision to do something drastic to fix my ailing self. I made the decision to forgo meat and dairy in favour of choosing to live and let others live . I went vegan .
I grew up in largely agricultural areas with the mom-and-pop kind of small farms around and it seemed to be acceptable to consume the corpses of the same animals we would watch grazing in the fields . Even in death , there was a gratitude to these creatures for their flesh that we had been conditioned to consume . There was a consciousness of the suffering endured when an animal would die and people took steps to ensure that the creatures died as painlessly as possible. I now know that this is not the way in which over 95% of the animals we consume for food are raised . But even as I came to the understanding that animals are tortured for mass consumption , I would ridicule vegetarians as extreme . I had actually been put off of the idea of forgoing flesh because of the alarmist and degrading actions of some members of animal-rights organizations like PETA . Their "Holocaust On Your Plate" series horrified me because of the images of humans being treated in a manner one would treat factory farmed animals . I was stuck in the old rural way where watching free-roaming animals provided me comfort from the horrors of my childhood . The concept of mass cruelty was a foreign concept. Even after mountains of evidence to the contrary , I still hit up the meat counter at the grocer .
I did not become vegetarian because of factory farming or even because of the relation between meat "production" and global hunger. I did so because I collect cook books and bought one by Dr. John cDougall in a thrift store and actually READ it fully . I have been in poor health since my teens and his personal story of triumph through diet weighed heavily . The good doctor may be a picture of perfect health at an age most of us would consider elderly , but he wasn't as a young person . Dr. McDougall very nearly never became a medical student - he had a massive stroke at age 18 due to eating a high-fat diet and had heart disease into his twenties . I was interested in the recipes for sure , but the health conditions treated and minimized by changing diet had a very personal interest to someone who was as arthritic as I .
I was still a skeptic so I decided to look into things further and discovered a mountain of evidence to support exactly what the doc was saying . I found numerous examples from the medical arena and discovered John Robbins , the chosen heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream empire who gave it all up because he kept watching his family members die from their dairy-rich d I had already removed some animal products from my diet and was noticing some physical changes , but "Diet For A New America" convinced me as to why this was happening and why our society is grotesquely unhealthy . The large pharmaceutical giants whom also produce the hormones and antibiotics given to factory-farmed animals do not want you to be healthier because it affects their bottom line . We have toddlers in diapers going into puberty and teens with coronary artery disease. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in my teens and my brother had a heart attack at 21 . These are all facts that no amount of denial can alter.
I went for the more gradual dietary change - first red meat and poultry , then dairy , then wild meat . I had become sick of the idea of ending the lives of others for my tastebuds and gave away the residual deer held in my freezer . Fish left , and finally eggs over a span of less than 2 months . And I have been given back my life . I have gone from walking assisted by a cane to working in one of the most physically demanding occupations imaginable . The pills I had required every time I ate have been gone from my home since I got rid of the "food" that was killing me . My cholesterol level is so low that it is scientifically impossible for my arteries to clog and have lost 60 pounds of fat from my frame . I am living proof that something that we don't generally think about can be the difference between life and death . And I am not alone . There is a diet that can put Lupus and cancer into remission , lengthen the lifespans of those with diabetes , hepatitis , asthma , HIV and Multiple Sclerosis to name a few , and reverse heart disease and osteoporosis . The question is whether or not you are brave enough to throw what you have been taught out the window in favour of living a truly fulfilled life. You already know that if you had to slit the throats of the cows that you call steak that you could not do it . The dead animals that you consume for a moment of joy exact their revenge by slowly and painfully killing you .
It's called karma , baby.
Sidenote : For those curious about the ad for "Earthlings" in the sidebar , I have provided the space free of charge . It's disturbing footage for most , but an interesting documentary worth checking out.
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