Heart-Smart Pilaf

Everyone wants to eat a little healthier in our fast-food instant gratification society . We feel the need to atone for sometimes decades of questionable behaviours with a change. A lot of people seem to be terrified of carbs , which are the energy source for our active bodies . Here's a guilt-free starch-based dish that can be used as a side , a base for a protein , or a meal in itself. It is low-fat , rich in manganese and a host of antioxidants , and lowers cholesterol . Oh yeah , you can find it in any grocery store .

the beautiful beast that is the crux of this dish is long-grain BROWN rice , and you NEED this in your life . you can eat this at any time of day . Forget eggs and bacon - go for some fragrant , delicious rice pudding and you will have a bounty of energy. As for the recipe , this was lunch .

Fragrant Brown Rice Pilaf

Get a saucepot warm and add a touch of canola oil . Add the following finely chopped veg :

1 stalk celery
1/2 small yellow onion
2 cloves garlic

allow to sweat and add 6 chopped black olives , 1 tablespoon Ras el Hanout (or Garam masala) , and a teaspoon or so Dill weed. You are bringing out the smokiness in the herbs and spices.

Deglaze with a touch of dark beer or coffee and allow to simmer for a few minutes.

Add 1 cup long-grain brown rice and 2 and a half cups water . Allow to boil, covered for 5 minutes.
Reduce to very low simmer and stire. Leave it alone for 25 minutes .

Uncover and enjoy!

The Lord of the Rings

EVERYONE has a recipe for the breaded coating for those glorious rings of oniony amazingness , and they are never gonna be low in fat , but mine IS vegan . It works on onions , zucchini, mushrooms , potatoes or anything else you can imagine.
If you are anal retentive about the stickiness and think eggs are the natural solution , try very fine (blending or gravy) flour . It will stick to the onions and allow the battery yummo to adhere to perfection.

Dunk and repeat.

Get out a bowl and fire in
1/3 cup corn meal (fine please)
1/2 cup Wheat Flour
1 teaspoon Basil
1/2 tea each salt , pepper , and hot paprika
1 teaspoon Baking Powder
1 teasppon Maggi or Worcestershire
2/3 cup (adjust for altitude) Dark Beer

Mix and allow to sit for 15 minutes before you get the onions in the pool. Fry like yo mama would. Enjoy!

Football Food : the Dunkable Mess

  It's time for the NFL playoffs , and that means FOOD! I came up with this tortillas-and-dip combo last weekend and it ROCKS. The tortillas are a lower-fat break away from the eyeryday . I'm not sure if the dip is salsa or matbucha , or something else , but it's wicked . Enjoy!

The Chips

1 package corn tortillas. Cut into wedge shapes and toss into a bowl containing :

1/4 C Olive or Canola Oil
1 tablespoon dill weed
1 tea black pepper
salt to your liking

Bake in 400F oven for 7-10 minutes. The edges will curl. Salt immediately after you yank them out of the oven. Oh , and wear oven mitts.

The Dunkable Mess

Get out a deep skillet and warm to medium . In order add :

3 Roma tomatoes , chopped
1 Bay Leaf
2/3 Cup Finely chopped celery
1/2 Green Pepper , chopped
1/2 cup Celery Leaves (they're usually in the middle) , chopped
3 Spring Onions
2 Clove Garlic
1/2 Tea ground black pepper
1 tea Basil , dried
1 tea Dill Weed
1/4 Cup Ketchup
Juice of Half Lemon , rind optional

Make this happy until it gets somewhat soft . Add the ketchup in the middle and end of the cooking process , and deglaze frequently with Apple Juice. It will take 10-15 minutes for the dip/salad to get where you want it to be. Turn off heat and add a splash of Apple juice or white wine . Stir and dive in! Warm or chilly , this is addictive.

Enjoy the game! Go Vikes!

Play With Your Dessert

There are a TON of festive sweet recipes , mostly cookies and pies , so this is a little off the beaten path . My sister used to love to steal the neighbours' grounder apples for crisp and here's my offshoot for your perusal . It's awesome a la mode for dessert , but also works as breakfast when mixed and served hot with or without a bit of cream . Either way , it's delish and a good way to clean fruit from the bowl since it works so well with a wide variety of larger fruits as well as berries .

Today's Yummy Fruit Crisp

Fruit Blend

6 cups assorted sliced fruit - today it is Gala Apples and Ripe Anjou and Ya Pears
1/4 cup Vanilla or Plain Sugar
1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp nutmeg
mix in a bowl and spead out into a casserole dish while you preheat the oven to 400F/200C

The Crunchy Stuff

1 cup Flour
1/2 cup Oats
1 Cup Brown (I'm using Demerrara) Sugar
1/2 cup Margarine

Mix all of the dry ingredients with your paws . Cut in margarine with a pastry blender or a couple of forks until it resembles gravel . You are not trying to make pastry , so perfection is not an issue . Spead over the fruit and bake for 35-50 minutes until bubbly and yummy looking . Do not even look at the oven for at least 25 minutes . I went for a shower since I have a tendency to babysit my food.
Let sit for a few and enjoy!

What I'm Eating Right Now

  I'm not hungry but my blood sugar went southbound and I was starting to feel odd so this staple stir-fry saved my day . Yummy and good for you . Let's Eat!

Get a wok nice and hot with a touch of oil if you don't have non stick and add :

1/4 LB pressed (firm) Tofu (yes , I KNOW , it's scary . Trust ME.)
1 Tsp Maggi Liquid Seasoning (Worcestershire will work too in a pinch)
1 TBL Soy Sauce
1/ Cup Beer
Pepper
1 Tsp Ras El Hanout (or somthing like it)
1/2 Tsp Rosemary

Saute until the liquid evaporates and the tofu starts to get a bit of a sear on it . Then add (in order if you can)

1/2 TBL Margarine or Oil (optional)
3-5 Mushrooms , Sliced
1/2 Zucchini , sliced
2 Stalks Bok Choy , sliced\
A couple of handfuls fresh Spinach
3 Sliced Radishes
1 Scallion , sliced
1/2 Tsp Chili Paste
Enough wine to deglaze

And Tada ! Din din in 15 or less. High in iron , will fill belly . Serve on it's own or over rice . Serves 2 as a main.

Halvah Nagila

  Sometimes the old stuff is the best , so here flies with an awesome old-school candy that you can do yourself so easily you might never go to halva.com again . There are thousands of versions of this sweet stuff that range from almost cloying to savoury , but this one is what most people are thinking of when they crave . This is not quite as sweet as commercially made halvah because there is no refined sugar , but you'll dig it. Makes a TON .

Yummo halvah for those who dont't have tahini handy

Get a pot and toast 6 cups (!) of sesame seeds until lightly brown and fire them slowly into a blender until reasonably smooth . Ta da! You have a reasonable approximation of tahini paste. Set aside

Grab the old spice grinder and pulse together roughly a teaspoon of allspice , half a cinnamon stick , and a one inch cube of ginger . Add to the brew with 1 1/2 cups of honey . If you don't do the bee vomit thing , use maple syrup and give it a bit of North American flavour .

Make sure the brew is mixed well and spread into a pan. I line mine with parchment paper for easy removal . Refrigerate until quite solid and munch out  ; OR

Get out a double boiler (you can make your own by using a glass bowl over a few inches of water in a pot) and melt a bar (100g) of decent quality dark chocolate .Let sit for about a minute and drop squares of the chilly halvah into the chocolate and roll into chopped walnuts or pistachios . Allow to sit for 15 minutes and make your guests into housemates .

Addiction is ... chocolate nut halvah

Side Dishes From Heaven

I have been having a lot of personally crappy days , but I'm trying not to be a bitch about it and maybe even stop being so fucking serious at work before I fucking kill someone . Anywho , for those of you who don't know me well , I love to cook and it's my choking-the-fucking-life-out-of-Tardog prevention therapy .

Here's my menu for the evening . So easy a roofer can do it , okay maybe not Tim . Yes , this will provide many uses for the SlapChop or Magic Bullet your mother gave you and you can make this stuff while tending to your protein choice .

Baked Sweet Potato Squash to impress , um , someone

Find Sweet Potato Squash (or Acorn , or whatever) and wash it well . You don't have to peel the tips off of your fingers .

Cut off both ends (toss these)and cut the rest in half lengthwise without adding any extra protein to the board.

Remove seeds and cut into chunks . You can get artistic here and don't forget to get your oven happy at 210C (400ish Fahrenheit)

lightly crease a pan of somesort with oil, butter , or your sister's hair gel and set squash stuff in there . This may vary in size due to how hungry you are .

Try to peel a one inch cube of ginger and cloves of garlic . Put in spice grinder or beat with a fairly clean shingle hatchet and add to pan along with 1 tbsp brown sugar and some salt and pepper. Add 1/2inch of water for the steam action .

Toss the squash in the works and try not to get too much on the floor . Cover the pan with foil and pray for 20-30 minutes . After it is somewhat tender , reseason , oil and bake until yummy . You can also add brown sugar and/or nutmeg here or oilive oil and oregano , both are awesome!

Get On The Spuds while You wait

Peel a bunch of russet potatoes and then chop into decent sized cubes .

Boil in a large pot with a few inches of water as well as some salt and pepper . Yes , you have to season the water , it's just better that way Boil slightly unovered until near tender . while you are doing this , you can chop finely 1/3to1/2 an onion and saute until pretty as well as puree 2 cloves of garlic and set aside .

Boil spuds until quite tender but not soupy . This may take a few efforts to perfect before you try to impress that hottie or your mama .

Remove most of the water (you can save it as a cream soup base) and turn off the heat but keep pot on hot element (reduce to very low if you have a gas range or are using a camping stove) .
Add the oinions and garlic as well as 1/2tsp dried oregano , 2-4tables butter or margarine and 2-4 tables milk or sour cream . (I'm doing the vegan thing . you don't have to)

Mash until they are perfect .

So many people buy expensive and tastless side dishes filled with bad carbs (spuds are not ) and fat and they don't have to . Lipton's Sidekicks are crap and we all know it and these things take about the same amount of time out of your life , which is amazing since you need this good stuff in your life .

I'm serving this with maple-beer veggie sausage but both go well with corned brisket or anything . They are also good comfort (read stoner snack) food all by their lonesome .

Okay , I'm starving now.